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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455434">i can never look away</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugdensrobert/pseuds/sugdensrobert'>sugdensrobert</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>imagine a world like that [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Emmerdale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hurt/Comfort, M/M, alex is irrelevant in this don't worry, slightly angsty but with a hopeful ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:54:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455434</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugdensrobert/pseuds/sugdensrobert</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>aaron goes to find a drunk robert on christmas eve.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>imagine a world like that [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675510</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i can never look away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this little fic is the result of a prompt i got over on tumblr and it fits this series quite well so here we are :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron can’t watch him go just like that, he can’t. This knot of worry is tightening in his chest and he knows he needs to go after Robert, make sure he’s alright. Knowing that Robert’s safe will be worth the looks and questions from his family, will be worth leaving them all in the pub on Christmas eve. Everyone is silent around him, probably still thinking and <em>laughing</em> about Robert’s performance. Aaron doesn’t want that. To everyone else it might seem that Robert is just being an embarrassing drunk but Aaron could see the utter sadness in Robert’s eyes, drunk or not. Robert’s having a hard time and it might not be his place anymore but no one else seems to be there for him at the moment.</p>
<p>He wipes a hand over his face, tries to transport himself back to the present.</p>
<p>“Aaron.” His mum’s saying and there’s a hand on his shoulder, Alex, he’s trying to steer them to a table but Aaron doesn’t want any of that. He needs to find Robert, needs to thank him for his present properly, make Robert see that he can still give his presents to Seb.</p>
<p>He takes Robert’s gift from the bar and walks towards the backroom.</p>
<p>“Aaron.” It’s Paddy’s voice, Aaron had almost forgotten he’d seen everything too. He ignores him, just continues walking.</p>
<p>He stands in the backroom, Robert’s present in his hands. He can’t trust his family not to throw the gift out but he just has to risk it, he needs to find Robert. He puts the present on the table and heads out, thinks he can just hear Alex call his name but he ignores him too. He can only think of Robert right now.</p>
<p>He doesn’t know where Robert’s gone but he knows he’s on his own, saw Diane and Doug walking in the opposite direction.</p>
<p>As he’s walking he thinks of what just happened.</p>
<p>Robert’s little smile as he recalled Paddy giving them both Christmas jumpers last year before sadness and hopelessness took over his whole expression again.</p>
<p>The way Robert was drinking to forget everything that’s been going on, to forget the fact he’s alone.</p>
<p>He thinks about the way he told Robert not to be like this, it makes him feel guilty.</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s you and me, it always has been it always will be.</em>
</p>
<p>Aaron gulps and blinks away the tears, the cold making his face feel numb.</p>
<p><em>Robert, where have you gone? </em>He mutters to himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s then that he hears someone half yelling half singing in the distance.</p>
<p>He runs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He can hardly make him out properly but it’s definitely Robert. He’s walking, albeit unsteadily, on a road that’s barely lit.</p>
<p>He’s muttering, holding something and Aaron frowns.</p>
<p>He wants to call out but he doesn’t want to frighten Robert. Aaron walks a bit faster, now walking on the same bit of road as Robert.</p>
<p>Something falls into the road, something that looks… soft, like a pair of socks. Aaron then realises that it must have been one of Seb’s presents. It makes Aaron’s heart break even more, the way his ex-husband is drunk out of his mind, walking around with his baby son’s presents because he has no way of giving them to him.</p>
<p>Before Aaron can warn him there’s a car coming and as it passes Robert, it beeps as it swerves whatever’s on the road.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It all happens so quickly after that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Another car comes from the other direction, its big flashlight blinding Aaron’s view but he can make out the way Robert’s about to step into the road.</p>
<p>“Rob!”</p>
<p>He runs as fast as his legs can carry him and he can see the shock on Robert’s face, the way he’s frozen in fear and panic.</p>
<p>He runs and hooks an arm around his waist, pulls them both onto the side of the road. They stumble and fall but they are safe, Robert’s safe.</p>
<p>He can’t help but put his forehead against Robert’s shoulder. Robert’s shaking sightly, from the drink and the shock, Aaron suspects.</p>
<p>“I- Aaron.” Robert says, it sounds less unsteady, as if the shock has sobered him up a bit. He tries to sit up, winces a bit and Aaron mirrors him.</p>
<p><em>“I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” </em>Aaron says before he can stop himself, knows that it’s true.</p>
<p>“You followed me?”</p>
<p>“Course I did, I couldn’t leave ya like this could I? All sorts could have happened- it almost did. Robert- you need to be careful, look after yourself.”</p>
<p>“But-“</p>
<p>They are still so close to each other, Aaron can feel Robert’s breath on his face.</p>
<p>“No buts- I needed to make sure you were alright.”</p>
<p>“Let me-“  He rambles, knows he can’t do this anymore- it’s not his place. Alex is waiting for him in the pub but he ignores all that as he touches Robert’s face with both hands, looks into his eyes.</p>
<p>“You’re alright yeah? You’re not hurt?”</p>
<p>“’m fine.” Robert says, eyes glazing over slightly.</p>
<p>Aaron sighs before nodding. He hesitates for a second before getting up and helping Robert do the same, holding him steady by his elbow.</p>
<p>When he’s sure Robert is stable enough to stay upright, he squeezes his arm and looks to his right.</p>
<p>“Can’t say the same for this little guy.” He says as he walks over to what he now knows is a sheep plush.</p>
<p>“It’s for Seb, well it was.” Robert says, voice shaky with sadness and Aaron’s heart clenches.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to do Aaron.” It sounds so broken, so hopeless and Aaron can’t stand it. He picks up Seb’s toy and hugs his ex-husband, does what he wanted to do earlier in the pub.</p>
<p>“It’s going to be alright I promise ya Rob. You will get to give Seb his presents, I will make sure of it.” Aaron says against Robert’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“How?”</p>
<p>“Just trust me okay.” He doesn’t know how he will keep this promise he just knows he will. Right now he’s willing to do anything to make Robert smile again, even if it means sleeping in front of Home Farm’s entrance until they let him in.</p>
<p>“Okay.” Robert says and his voice sounds more steady, as if he really trusts Aaron and Aaron realises that that’s probably true because Robert was right earlier, it was always going to be them.</p>
<p>“Let’s take you home okay?”</p>
<p>Robert sniffs, “you should get back, your family is waiting for ya.”</p>
<p><em>You’re my family,</em> Aaron wants to scream. He doesn’t though, now’s not the right time- Robert’s hurt, vulnerable and drunk.</p>
<p><em>Tomorrow,</em> Aaron thinks. Christmas day might not be the best time to break up with your current boyfriend but that’s okay when it <em>is </em>the perfect time for Aaron to have a long chat with the person he <em>does </em>want, to work stuff out- be together again.</p>
<p>“No- it’s fine. I’ll take you back to Diane’s yeah?” He knows that that’s the best place for Robert to be right now what with Vic dealing with her own hurt over Adam. “We can have a cup of tea, or coffee- sober you up a bit.”</p>
<p>“But-“</p>
<p>“Again, now buts.” Aaron says as he steers Robert towards the road again. “And give that here”,  Aaron gestures to the giftbag that Robert’s been holding for far too long now, spots the imprint it’s left on Robert’s hand.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Aaron. I don’t deserve this.” Robert says softly, shyly, once they enter a more lit up area.</p>
<p>“You do.” Aaron says because Robert deserves to be cared for especially when he’s dealing with so much hurt. Aaron never wants to experience that again, seeing Robert so broken in front of him and not being able to do anything. He won’t let it happen again, he’ll make sure of it.</p>
<p>Robert was right, Alex is nothing. He can’t be. Not when it’s always been Robert that Aaron wants and loves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
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